I know it’s never kind to judge a book by its cover. The last thing I would like a stranger to judge me based on is my physical appearance, and we all know that’s usually the least interesting aspect of a person. But when it comes to newborns, it’s incredibly hard not to laugh at their cone-shaped heads and squished faces when they’ve just come out of the womb. Especially because we know these features are only temporary!
We’re all supposed to believe that babies are the most adorable creatures we’ve ever seen in our lives, but they don’t always come out of the womb looking that way. Sometimes it takes a few days, or even a few months, for them to get this whole “being in the real world” thing down. Dr. Maria del Carmen Hernandez wrote a piece for You Are Mom discussing whether or not newborns are ugly, and she explains that they often look that way due to the conditions inside the womb.
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Hernandez explains that babies often are born with purple, wrinkled and elongated heads and pale, cold hands. This is because there’s not a ton of oxygen getting to them inside the womb, and their heads need to adapt to be able to fit through their mother’s vagina. Typically, these bizarre looking features go away within a few days or weeks after birth, and then babies become their naturally adorable selves.
So if you’re becoming a parent sometime soon, don’t be alarmed if your little one comes out with a twisted jaw, a flattened nose, bent ears or eyes that appear to be crossed or out of place. Focus on counting their fingers and toes when you first see them, and don’t feel the need to share any of their first (hilarious) photos with friends or family.
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The idea of a baby being ugly always makes me think of the classic Seinfeld episode where the whole gang doesn’t know what to say to the delusional parents who think their baby is gorgeous. But apparently, this happens all too often in real life, and according to research, it’s perfectly normal. Researchers at Brock University in Ontario have found that babies actually reach their peak cuteness at around 6 months of age, when they have big eyes, chubby cheeks and start making precious cooing noises.
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“We want to let parents know that if they’re not instantly grabbed by this baby as much as they thought they might be, then that’s normal,” the lead author of the study, Professor Tony Volk, says. “The bonding will build and grow over time.”
The researchers had assumed that younger babies would be seen as the most adorable, but apparently, abandonment happens most commonly during the first few weeks of a baby’s life. But part of the reason for this delay in attachment may come from the fact that babies often didn’t even make it past their first few months many years ago.
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“Hunter-gatherers who already had a child they were nursing, couldn’t nurse two children at once. If you’re a peasant mother in medieval England and you only have enough food for one child, and if having two means they’re both likely to die, it’s best just to have one child,” Professor Volk explained. “These are difficult decisions that humans have made for thousands of years. A delay in attachment makes those early losses easier to cope with.”
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Ugly babies are apparently so common that nurses are sometimes instructed on what to say if they can’t honestly tell new parents that their baby is beautiful. Nurse and TikToker Miki Rai revealed that she was taught, “If the baby is cute — you can just tell them the baby’s cute. [But] if the baby is ugly, you just tell [the parent] they look just like them.”
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Some parents can even admit that their precious bundles of joy weren’t exactly stunning when they were first born. Jody Allen wrote a piece for Stay At Home Mum detailing how her baby definitely had a face only a mother could love at first sight.
“He really did look like a smashed crab,” Jody writes. “His ears were folded over, his head was shaped like a cone, and he was really swollen. He was purple and bruised and looked like he’d had a hard night out on the piss. I’ve got eyes, he was [dang] ugly— my baby was really ugly!”
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“It often takes a few months for them to stop looking like squished-up little goblins and more like cute, smiley little buttons. You can probably blame Hollywood for our expectations of a newborn baby,” Jody continues. But just because a baby comes out looking more like an alien than a human doesn’t mean their parents love them any less. “I adored him,” the mother added.
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If you’re a parent, these photos might not be surprising at all to you. But if you don’t have any kiddos and have never been in a delivery room before, you might be terrified to ever see a newborn in real life! Regardless of where you fall, we hope you’re getting a kick out of these photos, pandas. Keep upvoting the ones you find particularly hilarious, and then if you’re interested in checking out even more funny baby photos from Bored Panda, look no further than right here!h-a-n-h
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